The smooth, shiny pebble left my hand at a rapid speed. It twirled and spun through the air as it made its way towards the calm water, which was a perfect mirror reflecting the stunning hills and the azure blue sky, but not for long. One, two, three I counted each bounce as the stone danced across the lake sending ripples across the water before plunging into its icy depths never to be seen again. It must have been a special stone, because that is how many days I have to wait for Simon to return home. Just three days.
I knew my destination the moment I left my house. Simon was coming home from Afghanistan at last and I wanted to be near him even though he was still so far away so I went to our place. My legs knew exactly where to take me; up the steep slope they climbed making the arduous journey seem easy. Normally I would have stopped several times to catch breath as my lungs fought for air, but not today. Today was a happy day; my boyfriend was coming home. Boyfriend? I quickly checked myself No! My fiancé.
“My fiancé is coming home,” I shouted the words towards the lake, there was no one to hear but then the rocky hillside captured the sound and threw it back at me. The echo was not quite as coherent, but I could make the out words… well almost…at least I am sure I heard ‘home’. Sitting by the side of the lake, our lake, I cast my mind back to the first time I had seen Simon. He was wearing his army fatigues; his trousers were tucked into his solid black boots that were so shiny you could almost see your face in them. On top of his head the young cadet wore his beret perfectly positioned and tilted to one side. He was staring straight ahead with what looked to be a stern face; a true soldier.
It was Remembrance Sunday and, with the other cadets, he was honouring those who had lost their lives defending their country, fighting as soldiers, a career he was so determined to embark on as soon as he could. He only had five more months to wait; the recruiting sergeant had told him. At the Cenotaph, I watched as he paid his respects with solemnity, just another soldier among a myriad of khaki and black but there was something about him and I found myself unable to stop staring. After the service he looked up, straight into my eyes, I smiled then quickly chastised myself, but he smiled back too, just a small half-smile, before resuming his position in the line and following his captain’s instructions to “Quick, march!”
The soldiers returned to their assembly point where the Captain dismissed them then Simon looked around. Where was that girl he had spotted with the red curly hair peeping out from under the black woollen hat? He retraced his steps to the Cenotaph and kept looking desperate to find the girl with the bewitching smile. Then he spotted me. I was standing at the bus stop my hat removed my red hair now cascading down my back, a stunning contrast to the black woollen coat. How do I approach her without sounding daft, he thought? Then he remembered his Gran’s advice ‘If you want something lad, just go for it.’ “Well Gran, I hope you’re right,” he muttered as he approached me. “Hi, I’m Simon,” he said, with what he hoped was a lot more confidence than he felt. “I’m Jessica,” I replied suddenly feeling the need to glance downwards as colour came to my cheeks. Always talk away any embarrassment; I remembered the advice from my Gran as I quickly added: “I saw you in the parade; you all looked very smart in your uniforms.”
“Thanks, my Gran always said I should be neatly turned out.”
“You should always listen to your Gran,” I laughed wagging my finger in time with the words this gentle banter made conversation easier. Before we knew it we were both laughing and joking; slowly discovering more about each other.
From that first meeting, one date led to another and we became inseparable. We had each found our soul mate. We understood each other’s thoughts, we finished off each other’s sentences, we shared the same values – we were two halves of a whole. How many people had said that to us over the 18 months we had been together? As I stared at the cool blue of the lake, its depths seemed never ending and as the sun’s rays began to dance and twinkle on the water like fairy lights.
I recalled our first Christmas together. How excited we both were. My parents welcomed Simon into our home to share the special family celebration. I was their only child and they had always been very protective of me, especially where boyfriends were concerned, but there was something about Simon they took an instant liking to. I had done just the same six weeks earlier. When I opened my present, I let out a gasp as the paper revealed a beautiful golden locket with an intricate engraved pattern. I carefully opened the two halves to find Simon had already put our photographs inside each of the oval shapes. Two halves of a whole and now we would be together forever staring at each other inside our beautiful golden home. Instinctively, I found myself seeking out the locket. Of course, it was there. I had not taken it off since the day he had placed it around my neck and planted a kiss on my mouth. I opened the two halves and gazed at the upside-down images. How young we looked. In the last 18 months years we had grown and matured and our love for each other had strengthened. I was soon to complete the first stage towards becoming a nursery nurse while Simon had been accepted into his chosen army career and had completed his training.
When his commanding officer announced that Simon’s regiment was being posted for a tour of duty in Afghanistan, there was no hiding his excitement. He took soldiering very seriously and I could see the eagerness in his eyes as he talked of what they would be doing out there and how important their role was. He coyly asked me if I minded him going. To be honest I didn’t really want him to go but I knew I couldn’t stop him. It was the job he had wanted to do and both of us knew that he would get a posting one day. I suppose, I had secretly hoped it might come a little later. “What do you think?” he said. “It will only be for six months. As my Gran would say…there is no point in taking the King’s Shilling if you don’t fight for your country when the time comes.”
He looked at me with those beautiful dark brown eyes of his, how could I say no to him? He knew I was not going to put any obstacles in his way.
“I will miss you every minute of every hour of every day of every month…” I began then paused… “but, I know this is something you have to do. So stiff upper lip, as Gran would say, and do your duty!” I gave a sort of mock salute. It was a pretty poor effort and we both fell into each others arms laughing. The laughter stopped and I stared into his face. Now for the serious bit, I thought. “Call me whenever you can, email me if you get chance, keep yourself safe and always remember I love you.”
“Oh I will miss you too love. There will not be a second, a minute or an hour goes by when I don’t think about you and our fantastic future together.”
We embraced and shared a long, loving kiss as our two halves moulded together into one. I wanted the closeness never to end; surely six months would not be that long. As he broke off from the kiss he reached into the pocket of his jeans and produced a small white box. Opening it he revealed a diamond solitaire ring, no words were said as he placed the ring on the third finger of my left hand. We understood each other without the need for words and we resumed the kiss with a passion that would have to see us through the long months ahead. I knew Simon would be embarking on a mission that would make him a man and I knew it would change him but I was confident that our love would survive the distance. It was the first time we had been properly parted in 12 months. Even when he was his training, I still saw him at weekends.
I shivered as the cold spring air drifted off the lake and surrounded me. How long had I been staring into the water? I glanced at my watch and realised I had been daydreaming for nearly three hours. Once round the lake and back down to the house, that was what we always did when we walked to our hilltop retreat and I didn’t want to break with tradition. Not that I was superstitious or anything, I told myself. “Yes, Simon, I am going to walk round the lake before going back home,” I shouted. This time the echo came back clear, it was as if he was listening to me.
The three days passed quickly, there was so much to think about, so much to plan, so much anticipation, Simon was finally coming home. I had often thought of his homecoming over the months while he had been fighting in Afghanistan. True to his word he kept in contact through emails and the phone calls when he got chance. He even sent me photographs of him and his comrades in their desert kit, the dusty beige and khaki uniform was not a patch on the bright combats he had worn the first time I saw him. In all the photographs his smiling face shone out and it was clear he had found his vocation.
In his last email he spoke of how much he felt he had achieved and how pleased he was that they had made a difference. He told how he had rescued two Afghan children who had been orphaned in the conflict. Simon explained that with the aid of interpreters the soldiers were able to trace some surviving relatives and now they were now being brought up by the family elders. He spoke of how difficult it was moving around Helmand Province because there were so many landmines hidden under the ground, what was it he called them? Yes, IEDs, improvised explosive devices. He ended all his emails by saying that his love for me would never fade adding that I was always the first thing he thought of when he woke in the morning and the last person on his mind when he fell asleep. Love you lots Jess xxx he had written.
“I love you too Simon, and soon I will tell you that in person,” I said quietly to myself.
So what should I wear? I would have to make my mind up quickly at Simon’s plane would be landing at 2pm and I wanted to be there in plenty of time to greet him. I looked in the wardrobe and I spotted the dress I had been wearing for Remembrance and of course I would have to wear my black coat and hat. Yes, that would be perfect for greeting Simon and it would remind him of when we first met. My mum called to me that it was time to go and I slowly made my way carefully down the stairs. “You look stunning, darling,” she said. “I am sure Simon will appreciate the thought that has gone into what you are wearing.” We walked arm in arm and just as we got to the car she turned me to face her. Clasping my hands she said: “Not long now love, he will be home soon.”
Once the plane had touched down the six immaculate soldiers and their Sergeant came marching towards the aircraft. This was to be his homecoming, but it was not to be the one we had planned. I would not to be the first to greet my soul mate, we were not going to throw our arms around each other and pledge our undying love. That honour was reserved for those six soldiers who carefully assembled into two neat lines. They greeted my Simon, not me. They greeted their fallen comrade and proudly held him aloft, skilfully lifting his flag-draped coffin onto their shoulders taking care to balance before they began the slow walk towards the waiting car.
“I’ll never stop loving you,” I whispered, as a tear slowly trickled down my face. “We will never stop loving you,” I added as I gently patted my belly.
Winning Creative Writing entry in the Veterans’ Arts Competition organised by Veterans In Communities